Prep Files - 1 Month Down, 4 To Go

I’ve officially completed one month of prep for my bodybuilding competition, and if I’ve learned one thing in that time, it’s this - dieting is a real pain in the ass.

I say that like I’m not a woman who’s been steeped in diet culture practically since birth, like I didn’t struggle with bulimia in my early 20s, like the number on the scale being mostly irrelevant isn’t an entirely recent thing. In fairness, most competitors are very open about how difficult it is to stick to their diet on prep, especially if you were previously growing and less attentive to your overall caloric intake, but I guess I thought I was special or something. My weight’s been pretty consistent over the past couple of years, and when I wanted to drop 5 pounds I usually could. My method for doing so (subbing a bottle of wine for dinner) isn’t particularly sustainable over the long term, though, and something inside me tends to rebel against any self-imposed restrictions I create. I’ve had to figure out some kind of middle ground between peppy health nut who happily eschews all hedonistic pleasure in life and party girl who considers alcohol a food group, and it hasn’t always been easy.

My first week of prep, I almost felt like I had to prove that I was going to do prep differently from most folks; that I would still eat a donut and get some Popeye’s and all that. The biggest change that I’d planned was to stop drinking for the duration of my prep, and that was an abysmal failure - I think I actually drank more that week than I had the week before! I struggled to get back on track, and the first couple of weeks I actually bounced all the way back up to my vacation weight, which was disheartening.

The last couple of weeks of June I finally managed to dial it in. I’ve been tracking my calories since I started prep, and lately I’ve found it a lot easier to stick closer to my daily goal (around 1800, for transparency), which does include a couple of drinks in the evening. Even though I haven’t stopped drinking entirely, I have been more successful at moderating my consumption. I’ve mentally designated a certain number of treat calories per day, as well as a treat meal each week, to try and keep cravings in check. Most of the time, those treat calories do go to wine, but sometimes ice cream wins out. Weekends are tougher, but I’ve tempered the wild swings from weekday to weekend these past couple of weeks; hopefully I can manage more consistency as I get deeper into this process.

Going into July, it’s that consistency that I’m really focused on. I’m a few pounds up from where I was hoping to be at this point, but the scale is moving in the direction that I want it to, and I’m starting to see the results from the extra shoulder and glute work I’ve been putting in.

It’s hard when everyone around you is having fun, eating and drinking whatever, but I just can’t be that girlie right now. That’s ok! Given how quickly this month has gone by, I have a feeling the next 16 weeks will be in the rearview before I know it.